Sœur Goold : BONJOUR FRANCE! (Update #8)

Bonjour tout le monde!!
So France is absolutely AMAZING!! The days since we arrived have been CRAZY. I'll just try and give the most important details but let's just say it's been an adventure.

So on Tuesday we arrived and on Wednesday we were assigned our first area and our trainer. I GOT VAL DE SAONE, RIGHT OUTSIDE OF LYON AND SOEUR KELLEY IS MY TRAINER. Soeur Kelley is incredible, so easy going, so good at French, and such a good teacher. It's going to be an amazing transfer.

Language update: I still speak terrible French. I knew when I left the MTC that I was in no way ready to actually converse with French people. In fact, I think I actually know more than I thought I did. Sadly, my mental preparation to be terrible at French in no way makes it any easier right now to be trying SO HARD to communicate with the people and understand them and just getting nothing.
The good news is that I can bear my testimony in French. So every lesson, every time we port, in all of our contacting I can bear my testimony. And I think that's all God needs me to do right now (until I learn how to actually speak French).

Sunday at church was the hardest. I bore my testimony in sacrament meeting and I think it went reasonably well (as in they at least understood what I was saying). And I tried to just speak from my heart because I refuse to become the person who just reads from a paper, even if I don't say anything right) Church is usually one of my favorite times of the week, especially in family wards, but it was SO HARD to understand anything.

I picked up more than I thought I would and we had a Vietnamese amie there, Ha, who spoke more English than French so I actually translated a tiny bit. But it was proabbly the single most draining experience of my life. By the end in Relief Society I was just sitting there smiling as big as I could and nodding my head and literally not comprehending a single mot {"mot" is French for "word"}.

When we went home after church I officially had my first meltdown of my mission. It was bound to happen eventually and I'm honestly a little surprised I made it this far. Logically I know I will learn French and that God is helping me, but in that moment I felt so weak and alone and just like I can't possibly make a difference in anyone's life when they won't listen to me, and even if they would listen, I don't speak French.

#mishspiration

I'm grateful for these moments of paralyzing weakness
because I think it's in these moments that I grow and learn the most.
I was just sitting on our porch crying and I offered one of the most sincere prayers of my life. I just told God that I knew He was there and He was with me, but in that moment I
needed to feel it. I am so weak and flawed and bad at French and don't
know how to be the best teacher, but this is all that I am. This is
all that I have to offer God right now. I felt such a peace and calm
wash over me. I am enough for Him. He will help me become what I need
to be. All the promises God has made me are starting to move from my
head into my heart. He is walking this path with me. I have such a
strong testimony of the healing and enabling power of my savior Jesus
Christ. With him I can become so much more than I am, little by
little, day by day. I know that he will help me learn French. And I
know that he wants me to find JOY in this work. This is, after all,
the message of ultimate joy and happiness. Something I am going to
work on, now and for my whole mission, is trying to find joy in every
single moment, in the good times and the hard times.

"Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy."

Sometimes I get so caught up in being my best self right now that I forget that it's okay and GOOD that I have so much room to grow. God doesn't need me to speak perfect French or to be perfectly selfless or to be the best right now. Because if I was perfect right now, what would be the point of this life? So today I'm deciding to be grateful for my many many weaknesses because it means I get to grow. And all that God needs is for me to try my best, to progress a little bit every day, and to trust that He will help me.

Also, this morning (p-day) I took a nap and I think it was the single best nap I've ever taken in my life. Feeling much more mentally sane now hahah.

EXCITING THINGS:
We went to visit a less active who has been MIA for the last transfer. One day we accidentally wander into her neighborhood while contacting. We go up and by some miracle she's home!! Sadly, she's on her way out the door so we hop in the elevator with her and ride down. THEN the elevator gets STUCK. Tiny european elevator, three people, totally trapped between floors. We were in there for an hour and a half. SUCH A MIRACLE! In that time we really got her talking about why she hasn't been coming to church and the struggles she's been facing. I shared a scripture and my testimony and Soeur Kelly said lots of beutiful things and actually understood what was going on. The next day we had another metting with Lucia (the less active) and I really think she's going to start coming to church again. #miracles

Who knew that getting stuck in an elevator could be a little miracle?

Still haven't had time to unpack... hopefully by next p-day hahah
Thank you for all your love and prayers! Je vous aime beaucoup!!
Love,
Soeur Cami Goold